Marriage Periods When Divorce Is One Step Away

2024 Author: Bailey Albertson | [email protected]. Last modified: 2023-12-17 12:53

5 difficult times in any marriage, when divorce is one step away

Conflicts between husband and wife are natural. Often truth is born in a quarrel. But it is important that this quarrel does not turn into hostilities with the threat of divorce. There are some of the most painful periods in a spouse's relationship to prepare for.

The first year after the wedding

When spouses are just starting to live together, instead of a beautiful fairy tale, they are faced with harsh reality. Much turns out not to be what it seemed in dreams. Suddenly it turns out that each of the couple has their own desires and ambitions, and they have not yet learned to give in and find a compromise. Each other's habits begin to annoy, even if they seemed cute before the wedding. Each of the spouses had their own model of behavior in the family before their eyes, each takes an example from their own parents.

To this is added the daily routine and family budget management, and the space for flowers and beautiful words is getting smaller.

If other people (relatives, friends) interfere with the affairs of a young family with advice, then problems only increase. Since the spouses will have to adapt not only to the opinion of each other, but also to well-wishers.

Sit down with your significant other and discuss the "painful" moments of your relationship:

1. Make a list of complaints about each other.
2. Do not forget to mark the positive points - also write them down on a piece of paper. So your soul mate will understand that it's not a lack of feeling, but problems of a different nature.
3. Sign a contract for each item. Somewhere you will have to yield to one, somewhere - to another. On some issues it will be possible to find a "golden mean".
4. Make it a rule in any quarrel not to stoop to personal insults. This will not help the business, but spoil the relationship.
5. Agree to solve problems without the involvement of third parties.
6. Don't try to spend all your time with each other. Leave space for yourself and your spouse. Let the husband have the opportunity to go with friends for football or fishing, and at this time the wife will visit a beauty salon or sit with her friends in a cafe.

Birth of a child

With the advent of children, new parents are added another social role. And along with it, an additional psychological load, not to mention the difficulties with a lack of time and constant fears for the child's health. In a woman, postpartum depression may be added to this against the background of a sharp change in hormonal levels.

The husband increasingly begins to worry that he gets little attention from his wife, all her thoughts are only about the baby. It often happens that a woman in caring for a child does not have time to cope with her usual household chores - cleaning, cooking, washing.

1. Prepare for the appearance of the baby in advance. This applies not only to the dowry, but also to the psychological component. The husband needs to understand that caring for a child is not only a mother's problem. Father's participation and all possible help are required from the first days of a baby's life. This does not mean that the spouse should spend sleepless nights at the cradle, because he still needs to work. But any man can take a walk on a weekend with a stroller or cook a simple breakfast for himself.
2. A woman also needs to devote at least a few minutes to her spouse: ask about business at work, kiss again. If the space of the apartment allows, try to calm down the crying baby in another room at night so that your spouse gets enough sleep before work. And in the evening ask him to sit with the child for at least 20 minutes in order to do his personal affairs.

A period of monotony

After the copper wedding, the couple already know each other as well as themselves. And everyone wants something new. After all, the monotony and routine are boring. Doubts appear about the correctness of the choice, any action of the partner is perceived in advance with criticism. Often spouses find it difficult to determine what caused the quarrel.

Often during this period, spouses have relationships on the side. This helps the traitor to assert himself as a man or as a woman.

1. Do not limit the range of your interests only to work and family issues. Find a hobby you love.
2. Make it a rule to relax together. Just do not choose the usual routes / hotels / resorts / cottages. Sports with a hoe in your hands in the garden beds is not recreation. Better buy a tour to some unusual place. You can travel within your area (by car, by boat on the river), having outlined in advance what you want to see. Go on an exciting quest with the whole family to help you unite.
3. Make time for sports. Better to train with the whole family.
4. Every day, do small surprises for each other - messages with a wish for a good day, a candy in your jacket pocket, a flower just like that.

Feelings have gone cold

After 11 years of family life, it begins to seem that the love fire not only does not burn, but does not even smolder. Spouses live with each other like neighbors. All life fits into the endless wheel "home-work". Moreover, children are usually grown up and do not require constant care.

At the same time, the husband and wife begin to notice the first signs of aging - it is more and more difficult to maintain physical shape, fatigue accumulates, wrinkles appear.

If by this time the career is not at the same level as we would like, then there is a constant feeling of dissatisfaction. It pours out on the one who is always there - on the soul mate. It seems that he or she is to blame for all the failures.

Psychologists say that the best way to survive this crisis is the ability to treat everything with humor.

Think back to everything that you had to go through together and learn to appreciate it.

Do not set big goals for this period, do not strive to "conquer Everest". It is better to try to consider everything of value in what you already have - a cozy home, healthy children, a stable job and a husband (wife) who is always there, no matter what.

Children have grown

When children grow up and leave their parents, it seems to many couples that there is no longer any point in living together any longer, the mission is accomplished. If this time coincides with going on a well-deserved rest, the problem only intensifies: a person does not know where to spend his suddenly appeared free time. The well-established mechanism of life goes astray.

A woman may have hormonal changes associated with menopause during this period. This aggravates the situation - the mood changes, and the husband does not understand how to behave with his wife.

Cheating during this period is more often on the part of a man who is trying to prove his relevance.

Find moments that will unite you - arrange romantic evenings, go dancing together, play sports. It is good if you have mutual friends with whom you can go to picnics or to holiday homes together.